I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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