I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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