her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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