Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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