they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
