I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
