The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I can't turn off my feet"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
