Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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