they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
