I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize
