so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
