Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
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when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
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The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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