Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
