READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
