things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize