I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
why do cheetos always look like penises
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
