Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
