I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
