Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
