Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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