Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
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I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
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Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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