Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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