Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
