its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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