Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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