you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize