I heard we made out
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I have post one night stand depression
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