Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Boobs are out for the taking
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize