If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Who died my cat blue again?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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