Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
