I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
