So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
