i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
