If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
