wanna go halves on a baby?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
