Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
