Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
