she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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