rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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