he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
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