Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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