We named our party play list daddy issues
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
