Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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