You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
