He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
last night I used snow as a chaser
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