I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
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