I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
