Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
My balls are so social today.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just found puke in my bra..
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
