I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
operation harelip BJ is a go
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
