You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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