And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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