I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
