Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize