Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
