The maid of honor just puked.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
