dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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