do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
The air taste purple.
Randomize
