look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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